


Am I Your Hero Now?

by JamesAeza



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Imagination, Kinda, M/M, Monsters, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Sacrifice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:01:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26153851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JamesAeza/pseuds/JamesAeza
Summary: Roman's been brooding in the Imagination for ages, and the last thing he expected was for Thomas to come find him.No one expects what happens next.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Everyone, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Thomas Sanders
Comments: 10
Kudos: 84





	Am I Your Hero Now?

Roman had been in the Imagination for way longer than he should have. He knew that painfully well. The last time he’d spent even half this long in here, he’d nearly thrown himself off a building in a moment of ‘nothing at all matters and I’m unloved’. 

Remus had found him just in time, unsure if a side could die even if they wanted to and unwilling to test the theory. He’d forced him back to the others, arms pinned behind his back so he couldn’t do anything he’d regret, and made sure Patton had him safe before he left. 

Maybe Remus wasn’t as bad as all that. 

But Roman still didn’t want to see him right now. 

He was still vulgar. And selfish, and loud, and the opposite of everything he’d ever tried to be, and being compared to him hurt more than he could tell. Even more than the injuries from imaginary monsters, wounds that he could have healed or treated but had left to fester as a grim reminder of his failure. 

He liked fighting monsters. He liked the black and white, no shades of grey, no blurred lines. Everything the way he’d always known it to be. He was good. Remus and Jan- no,  _ Deceit _ , he’d always be Deceit- were evil. That was just the way it was, and for it to be any other way, everything would have to fall apart. 

He wasn’t ready for that, and he didn’t think he ever would be. Better to stay here, where he controlled the rules, where they made  _ sense.  _

He’d spent his time ever since that awful remark in one of his secluded woodland cabins. As much as he loved the people of his imaginary kingdom, he didn’t really want to see anyone right now. Didn’t want the responsibility of being in charge. How could he trust himself to run a kingdom if he had a breakdown over being called evil. 

He  _ wasn’t _ evil. He kept repeating it like a mantra, reminding himself that it was the truth. Forcing himself to believe it. 

He’d blocked everyone else from entering. Except Remus, of course, who controlled it too. Though he couldn’t let the others in without Roman’s permission. 

Even if Remus did care to come to find him, he hadn’t left a trail. Only Thomas could track him down now, and he was sure the man wouldn’t bother. Their last interaction was playing on loop in his mind. 

_ “I thought I was your hero.” _

_ “...you are.” _

_ “Right.” _

He still didn’t feel any better about it. Odd, killing things almost always made him feel better.  _ Evil  _ things, so he could feel like the hero. It was all he’d ever wanted, and had been violently ripped away from him. 

He sighed, prodding at the wide cuts covering half his abdomen. What if they got infected? Would he die? Maybe Logan knew. His heart ached at the thought of Logan, he missed all of them more than he could say. 

Especially Virgil, but that didn’t bear thinking about. 

He flopped down on the table, ignoring the way his head painfully slammed into the wood. He’d been feeling like absolute garbage for too long, and it didn’t seem to be showing any signs of letting up. 

Maybe he deserved it. 

Oh, who was he kidding? Of course he deserved it.

He took a deep breath, pulling himself back up into a sitting position. He frowned, pulling up his shirt a little to get a better look at the cuts, placed by one of Remus’s creations he’d vanquished just a couple days ago. They were a deep purple, and he was unsure whether it was just a state of healing or if something was wrong. 

Not that it really mattered to him anymore. What would happen, would happen, and that would be that. Pain was nothing. Death was acceptable. The only thing he wouldn’t put up with was his friends getting hurt, physically or emotionally. But they weren’t here, and they didn’t need Roman, so he wasn’t worried about that. 

Which left the number of things he was worried about at exactly zero.

  
  


The amount of things Virgil was worrying about was through the roof as of right now. Most of them had to do with Roman.

_ What if he’s hurt? _

_ He’s been in the imagination for too long, it’s not healthy.  _

_ What if he did something to himself? _

_ What if he’s already gone? _

No, no, no. He was sure it was like the others said, Roman just needed a little time to stew. Virgil just had to ignore the fact that every time he thought about it, his stomach turned. That he couldn’t get the awful images out of his head.

He stood up abruptly. 

He needed to do something about this. Just see Roman once. Just to soothe his anxiety. 

But… how? They’d already tried going in, even with Remus’s help they were blocked, and Remus wasn’t exactly the easiest guy to work with. 

Remus had tried going in on his own, but had come back several days later, disheveled and dirty and without Roman. 

Then he froze. 

Why… why hadn’t they asked Thomas yet?

Thomas could immediately find any of them, no matter where they were. He could go anywhere he wanted, after all it was his mind. Besides, he would surely be glad to help. The only reason he hadn’t yet was likely that he didn’t know Roman was missing. 

He wasted no time in finding the other man and posing his request.

  
  


Roman had just been planning his next outing. There was one particular monster in the area, a dragon-witch that needed vanquishing. 

In all honesty, he didn’t like fighting the dragon-witches. At all. While all the other monsters were Remus’s creations and thus evil, the dragon-witches were, well…

Confusing. Exactly what he did not like. Born of his own insecurities, the ones he so adamantly denied, they were harder to fight than most. But fight them he did, because he was a prince, and brave, and he liked killing things. 

The very last thing on his list of plausible things was to walk outside and straight into Thomas. 

He froze for a second, gaping. Why was Thomas here? Had he come for Roman? Unlikely- at least, he thought so until he was wrapped in a smothering hug. It took him a solid ten seconds to find his voice. 

“I… Thomas?”

“Where  _ were  _ you? You scared Virgil out of his  _ wits _ !”

Roman’s stomach twisted at that. Virgil had worried? About him? 

He quickly brushed aside the thought that maybe Virgil cared. Surely he only wanted what was best for Thomas, wanted all of Creativity back. Even the useless and stupid and  _ unheroic _ part. 

As Thomas pulled back from the crushing embrace, he felt firm hands on his shoulders and found himself staring straight into the other man’s eyes. 

Thomas sighed, giving him a long look. “What… why?”

_ Don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’tcrydon’tcrydon’tcry _

And fuck, he was crying. 

“Hey, buddy, no, it’s okay. You’re okay. Please stop crying.”

Roman forced himself to stop, to stop being annoying and awful and an attention-whore. 

Thomas took a deep breath in. “Look, Roman. Whatever you’re telling yourself is probably wrong and probably awful. I… please, come back. Let’s talk it out. I promise it’s not as bad as it feels.”

For the first time in ages, Roman allowed a tiny flicker of hope to remain in his chest undoused. Maybe… this could be the truth? He didn’t allow himself to think too hard into it, just to shallowly accept the kind words. 

“Let’s get you home, yeah?”

Roman found himself nodding, following the man he trusted more than anything-

Unfortunately, the tearful reunion was then interrupted.

By a certain dragon-witch in the area. 

Going straight for Thomas.

Roman didn’t have to think even once before jumping into the path, blocking the assault with his shield. 

Well, maybe he was good for something. 

And the fight began. 

Roman would have won. Really.

If this wasn’t a dragon-witch. If it was any monster Remus had ever dreamed up. 

If he didn’t have several infected cuts hindering his movement.

Thomas watched in complete shock as Roman went for a risky killing blow- and hit. 

But not without a talon straight through his chest. 

As the dragon dissolved and disappeared, Roman collapsed, Thomas quickly crouching down next to him and cradling his head. 

“Roman? Roman, are you with me? You’re gonna be okay, right? I’m gonna take you back and Logan’s gonna fix you up good as new?” Even as he said the words, he could see a certain snake in his mind, and he knew they were lies. 

Roman knew it too, slowly shaking his head. But oddly enough, the expression on his face wasn’t one contorted with pain, or of despair. 

He was  _ smiling _ . 

As Thomas looked on incredulously, he coughed a little, forcing out the last words he would ever say. 

“Am I your hero now?”

“I… Roman… you always were.” 

But Roman wasn’t around to hear it. 

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, OUCH.
> 
> Also, this fic was inspired by a Reddit post on r/SandersSides, which I hope I did justice to. (if you wanna be friends totally PM me at u/Majestic-Incident)
> 
> First time writing character!thomas so please let me know how I did. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed, thank you for reading, and please drop a comment if that's your style! (you're absolutely welcome to shout at me for hurting our child in this way.)


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